KVJ Show

The Fort Lauderdale Rio Vista Poop Situation

Default Featured (2)

Rio Vista in Fort Lauderdale has been having an issues with their sewage lines bursting…

Ft Lauderdale Resident of 50+ Years- John McCrory wrote a parody Holiday Poem about the poop situation titled:

Twas The Week Before Turdmas, A Rio Vista Poem

Twas the week before Christmas, all through the Rio Vista hood,
Not a neighbor was walking around, who would?!;
The lawns were all littered with diarrhea and turds,
As Tarpon River filled up with dead fish, crabs, and birds;
The children were sleeping in their putrid beds,
While visions of sewage trucks drove by in their heads;
Moms wearing rubber boots and dads needing naps,
All wondering who is going to clean up this crap;
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
A sewer pipe break was the cause, spewing fecal matter;
Neighbors ran to their windows, and what did they see,
Ponce De Leon has changed to the Rio Vista Brown Sea;
The light from the moon put it all in clear sight,
Turds to the left, turds to the right;
The city did what they thought they should do,
Quickly sending to Rio Vista a Ghostbuster-like hazmat-dressed crew;
With their skiff in Tarpon River, pool nets in hand,
They skimmed the floaters as neighbors watched from the land;
Sewer pump trucks were needed, and rapid they came,
Each adorned with the Cliff Berry name;
The drivers were sickened at the first sight of it,
You could hear them exclaim “we are supposed to clean up this shit?”;
Luckily from Texas came a much needed part,
The answer had arrived to end this huge neighborhood fart;
Workers unwrapped the new pipe without missing a beat,
Could it be no more poop in our yards and our street?;
The crews got to work putting the pipe into place,
Each with septic on his or her face;
Just twelve hours later, after nine whole days,
The flow was stopped, and gone was the haze;
Neighbors returned to their homes, Rio Vista Falls stopped,
When what would you know, another pipe popped;
The neighbors all sighed at what appeared on the news,
There wasn’t just one sewer break…there were two;
The stench came back, a new street-river churned,
Lines of sewer pump trucks returned;
How could this happen? What could this be?,
And then, hold your breath, busted pipe number three;
So as Christmas draws near we can all hear the cries,
Please commissioners, not another high rise;
Take a good look around at what’s going on,
But first, please, stroll down Poop De Leon;
So as we wait for the commission to make this right,
MERRY TURDMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT
But Wait, don’t relax yet there is more in store,
Victoria Park just got hit with break number four.

 

 

*Thanks to Cynthia H for sending us The Poem Of John McCrory*