Meghan Trainor burst into the spotlight in 2014 with her confident self-love anthem, “All About That Bass,” but the singer admitted in a new interview that she has been secretly battling a panic disorder for years.
Speaking with People, the Grammy winner revealed that she had her first panic attack in December 2016, when announcing the 2017 Grammy nominees live on air.
“I was vibrating. I felt like I was going to pass out on live television. I was like, ‘What’s happening? I must be dying,'” she recalled. “As soon as they said ‘Cut,’ I went offstage and was [gasping for air] in front of everyone.”
Her mental health struggles worsened following multiple vocal cord surgeries due to hemorrhaging and she began to fear she’d never sing again.
“I was in a dark place,” said Trainor, noting she was also dating her future husband, Daryl Sabara, at the time. “I had everything I wanted — I had the love of my life — but mentally and physically I felt ill.”
It all came to a head when she rushed to the hospital, fearing she was having an allergic reaction to some food she had eaten.
“The doctor came in, looked really sad, and was like, ‘Have you ever heard of a panic attack?’ I was like, ‘No, no, no, I’m having an allergic reaction. If you just look in the back of my throat, it’s closing,'” she said. “That was my first lesson on what a panic attack can do to you.”
Trainor was diagnosed with a panic disorder and has since sought out therapy and treatment to get her life back on track.
“I’m not ashamed to say I’m on antidepressants,” said Meghan. “That medicine saved me, saved my life, saved my career…I’m back better than ever.”
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