
– Miami’s stuck in traffic so it’s gonna there by midnight. When they
arrive, they keep turning up the music, while Naples keeps turning it
down.
– Fort Lauderdale is arranging a Feng Shui beer pong table.
– West Palm Beach is wondering when the after party on the yacht
is.
– Boca Raton arrived in a white Mercedes, is drinking white zinfandel
and getting angry because people aren’t complementing her Hermes
bag.
– Delray Beach skipped the party, because the cool people go to the
Ave.
– Wellington just showed up on her horse and is doing designer
drugs with some wannabe island boy.
– Lake Worth Beach just showed up in tie-dye with a bag of magic
mushrooms.
– Boynton Beach is smoking crack in the bathroom.
– Jupiter shows up in board shorts and flip flops with a brick of
cocaine they found on shore while surfing.
– Stuart showed up wearing camo from Walmart & won't stop talking
about election integrity
– Port St Lucie is trying to get some sleep in the bedroom upstairs.
– Hialeah is in the backyard roasting a whole ass pig
– Lauderhill shows up wearing a fruit of loom wife beater & Gucci
slides, accompanied by 2 strippers (who have an odor).
– Key West is sitting out front in a lawn chair, drinking beer, naked.
– Fort Pierce is in the corner eating fish dip, but carrying just in case.
– Tampa thought it was a costume party and dressed like a pirate, but
brought cigars for everyone.
– St. Pete brought a 6 pack of hand selected craft bottles. They are
doing a little tasting in the kitchen with some crypto Bros and
wannabe urban farmers.
– Jacksonville was invited, but decided getting drunk at home was a
better option.
– Orlando is dancing terribly in the living room.
– Daytona Beach shows up in a Def Leppard denim with beer for the
under aged kids and winds up fighting a homeless guy out front who
calls him poor.
– Polk County is outside shooting bullets straight up in the air.
– Gainesville and Tallahassee are drunkenly fist fighting, shirtless to
show off their orange and blue/gold and garnet body paint. Everyone
in the room has either taken a side or rolled their eyes and kept
drinking.
– Palm Bay is drinking four Loko and doing donuts on their ATVs in
the neighbors yard
– Sanford is asking everybody what the helicopter overhead is doing.
– The Villages just arrived in their blinged out golf carts with
margaritas and little blue pills.