– Miami’s stuck in traffic so it’s gonna there by midnight. When they
arrive, they keep turning up the music, while Naples keeps turning it
down.

– Fort Lauderdale is arranging a Feng Shui beer pong table.

– West Palm Beach is wondering when the after party on the yacht
is.

– Boca Raton arrived in a white Mercedes, is drinking white zinfandel
and getting angry because people aren’t complementing her Hermes
bag.

– Delray Beach skipped the party, because the cool people go to the
Ave.

– Wellington just showed up on her horse and is doing designer
drugs with some wannabe island boy.

– Lake Worth Beach just showed up in tie-dye with a bag of magic
mushrooms.

– Boynton Beach is smoking crack in the bathroom.

– Jupiter shows up in board shorts and flip flops with a brick of
cocaine they found on shore while surfing.

– Stuart showed up wearing camo from Walmart & won't stop talking
about election integrity

– Port St Lucie is trying to get some sleep in the bedroom upstairs.

– Hialeah is in the backyard roasting a whole ass pig

– Lauderhill shows up wearing a fruit of loom wife beater & Gucci
slides, accompanied by 2 strippers (who have an odor).

– Key West is sitting out front in a lawn chair, drinking beer, naked.

– Fort Pierce is in the corner eating fish dip, but carrying just in case.

– Tampa thought it was a costume party and dressed like a pirate, but
brought cigars for everyone.

– St. Pete brought a 6 pack of hand selected craft bottles. They are
doing a little tasting in the kitchen with some crypto Bros and
wannabe urban farmers.

– Jacksonville was invited, but decided getting drunk at home was a
better option.

– Orlando is dancing terribly in the living room.

– Daytona Beach shows up in a Def Leppard denim with beer for the
under aged kids and winds up fighting a homeless guy out front who
calls him poor.

– Polk County is outside shooting bullets straight up in the air.

– Gainesville and Tallahassee are drunkenly fist fighting, shirtless to
show off their orange and blue/gold and garnet body paint. Everyone
in the room has either taken a side or rolled their eyes and kept
drinking.

– Palm Bay is drinking four Loko and doing donuts on their ATVs in
the neighbors yard

– Sanford is asking everybody what the helicopter overhead is doing.

– The Villages just arrived in their blinged out golf carts with
margaritas and little blue pills.