It’s Kevin and you might know that I have a 12-year-old son, named Cannon. So often I feel like I fail him in fatherly advice. With all of life’s distractions I often wonder how much my advice ever cuts through. And when it does, am I even saying the right things. So, if you are a Dad, like me, this letter I saw on-line makes an easy checklist of what you can say to your son before he becomes a man. If Cannon can get everything here, I would feel like I’ve not completely failed him as a father.
My dear son,
I know you’re only 12. And you will likely have several girlfriends before marrying the right one. But you might as well learn from me so that you don’t waste time making all the mistakes I made.
Do not get advice from your friends. Remember, “If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.”
Look for someone that’s better than you. Look for someone that you admire, not only for her beauty, but also for her brains, her attitude, how she treats her family and friends. When you strive to be a better person for her, it will also uplift you. Ask yourself this; “Does she make me want to be a better person?” If the answer is YES — then you’re with the right person at this time.
Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman. That means hold doors, help her carry stuff and pull out the chair for her. This is respect and that must be shown in your relationships.
Here are ways to show that respect:
1. Let her go first.
Let her order first and wait for her food to arrive before you eat.
2. Give her compliments.
Compliment her on how beautiful she looks.
3. Be respectful in front of her parents.
Don’t say “Hey, how’s it going”. Say “Good morning Mr. ____.”
4. Be respectful to her family.
Be respectful to her parents even when they’re not around. Even if she’s angry at them, stay respectful.
5. Surprise her with something for no reason.
Like flowers, not like a Snapchat. However, a Snapchat story on how you got those flowers might be cool.
6. Protect her.
Watch to make sure she gets home safely before you leave.
7. Always keep her safe.
Walk on the outside of the sidewalk when you’re with her.
8. Don’t kiss and tell.
What happens between you stays between you.
9. Make her laugh.
10. Encourage her.
Encourage her to aim higher (do better at school, run faster at track, play harder in sports.)
11. Challenge her.
Challenge her to try new things, new experiences that will improve her as an individual.
12. Respect her opinions and decisions at all times.
If you can do 80% of these, she’ll love you. Do 100%, she’ll love and respect you.
You can also shoe disrespect. So avoid:
1. Hurtful pranks.
No matter how many views it gets on YouTube, this does not build a trusting relationship.
2. Bodily emissions on purpose.
Just like how you wouldn’t walk up to your teacher and fart or burp in her face, don’t do that to your girl. It’s not respectful. Save that for your buddies.
Don’t use any profanity directed at her, her family or friends.
4. Letting her down.
If you say you’re going to be somewhere or do something, do it. Men stick to their word.
5. Staring at your phone.
Don’t text, talk. If you’re with her, keep your eyes on her, not technology.
6. Lyng and hiding.
If you make a mistake, own up to it. Change, improve, and move on.
7. Shame or belittle.
Similarly, she might make mistakes, forgive with sincerity. Never hold a grudge, shame or belittle her.
8. Gossip about other people.
Even if she does, listen but don’t participate. Don’t tell her not to do it, just acknowledge what she is saying. She might feel annoyed initially but she will respect you for it in the long run.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”