Lance said WHAT to Oprah?!!?

He told her to LIGHTEN UP!?!?!

OPRAH WINFREY was on "CBS This Morning" yesterday to discuss her interview with cheater-face LANCE ARMSTRONG.

Op's said she had 112 questions prepared, and she got through most of them.  And things got so intense that at one point, he asked her to LIGHTEN UP.

Oprah said that Lance did admit to using performance-enhancing drugs, but she added, quote, "He did not come clean in the manner I expected."  However, she did say she was "satisfied" with his answers.

Megan Fox.....pretty AND crazy!

In the new issue of "Esquire", Megan opens her mouth and lets the insanity roll out freely.  

For instance, she says she SPEAKS IN TONGUES.  It all started at a Pentecostal church in Tennessee when she was 8.

She says, quote, "The energy is so intense in the room that you feel like anything can happen . . . have you ever watched footage of a Santeria gathering or someone doing voodoo?  You know how palpable the energy is?  Whatever's going on there, it's for real."

Megan also believes in stuff like aliens, leprechauns and the Loch Ness monster.  She says, quote, "[I am] childlike in my spirit, and I want to believe in fairy tales.  I believe in all of this stuff."

The love is on...the love is off....

What's worse than snakes on a plane?

Sitting next to a guy throwing up on a plane.  Unless of course that is Tony Danza.

The "New York Post" reports that Tony filled his barf bag in first class on a flight from New York to L.A.  

He told the other passengers he was fighting the flu.

Uncle Poodle is HIV Positive

WHAT?!  You don't know who Uncle Poodle is?  He's Honey Boo Boo's uncle!

LEE THOMPSON - aka "Uncle Poodle" - says he was diagnosed last year, and is hoping to use his "fame" to raise awareness and promote safe sex in schools.

Lee, who's gay, says, quote, "I knew it had been my boyfriend who infected me.

"I later learned he had been HIV positive and was not taking medication and had not bothered to tell me about it.  I was advised that I should press charges and, hesitantly, I did.  It was the right thing to do.  He's [now] serving a 5-year sentence."

He adds that if he knew that guy was positive, he would've known how to protect himself.  He says people who practice unsafe sex are "damn fools" because, quote, "They're playing Russian roulette . . . with their lives and that of their sexual partners."

And speaking of Honey Boo Boo...

Remember Crazy Tony?  If you don't, that's ok, he's been banned from the show anyway.